az_icon

az_icon http://az-icon.livejournal.com/ az_icon - LiveJournal.com Sat, 23 May 2009 05:49:44 GMT LiveJournal / LiveJournal.com az_icon 12839398 personal http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/61249345/12839398 az_icon http://az-icon.livejournal.com/ 100 86 http://az-icon.livejournal.com/33728.html Sat, 23 May 2009 05:49:44 GMT Memes http://az-icon.livejournal.com/33728.html They spread like the swine flu, and are just as awesome. I chopped the last question off where it guilts you into re-posting in the hopes that it doesn't spread any further. :uP<br /><br />1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?<br /><br />2) What was your dream growing up?<br /><br />3) What talent do you wish you had?<br /><br />4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?<br /><br />5) Favorite vegetable?<br /><br />6) What was the last book you read?<br /><br />7) What zodiac sign are you?<br /><br />8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.<br /><br />9) Worst Habit?<br /><br />10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?<br /><br />11) What is your favorite sport?<br /><br />12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?<br /><br />13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?<br /><br />14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?<br /><br />15) Tell me one weird fact about you.<br /><br />16) Do you have any pets?<br /><br />17) What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?<br /><br />18) What was your first impression of me? (hmmm...careful!)<br /><br />19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?<br /><br />20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?<br /><br />21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?<br /><br />22) What color eyes do you have?<br /><br />23) Ever been arrested?<br /><br />24) Bottle or can soda?<br /><br />25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?<br /><br />27) What's your favorite place to hang at?<br /><br />28) Do you believe in ghosts?<br /><br />29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?<br /><br />30) Do you swear a lot?<br /><br />31) Biggest pet peeve?<br /><br />32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?<br /><br />33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?<br /><br />35) Do you believe in God? http://az-icon.livejournal.com/33728.html public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/33506.html Thu, 07 May 2009 01:05:05 GMT http://az-icon.livejournal.com/33506.html <ul class="loudtwitter"><br /> <li><em>15:48</em> Holy shit, I think I have some serious subconscious emotional problems. <a href="http://twitter.com/az_icon/statuses/1721434832">#</a></li><br /></ul>Automatically shipped by <a href="http://www.loudtwitter.com">LoudTwitter</a> http://az-icon.livejournal.com/33506.html public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/33196.html Sun, 03 May 2009 07:59:34 GMT http://az-icon.livejournal.com/33196.html So, I'm so fucking sick of hearing about this swine flu shit on the news and in the newspaper like it's the second coming of the bubonic plague.<br /><br />It's THE FLU. Get over it.<br /><br />It's all over the news here like 24 hours since Arizona is a border state, and apparently we now have people dropping dead in our emergency rooms from REAL problems because the ERs are crammed full of assholes who are terrified that they have swine flu because they ate a half slab of pork ribs at Chili's and got the shits six hours later. Like that's such a surprise.<br /><br />My company sent out a super-urgent e-mail to every employee in the country on Thursday to "reassure" us that they have a "crisis-management team in place to deal with the outbreak of swine flu." Seriously? I mean, what did we just take a chunk of that TARP money and use it to hire a bunch of out-of-work school nurses? WTF MAN!?<br /><br />Oh, and it's also not "swine flu" anymore because the fucking pork industry threw a shit fit, so now it's "H1N1" flu. Not only do you ruin my day with this hysteria, but you're making me say three redundant syllables when I'm forced to discuss this shit now just so the sales of sausage patties at Bob Evans doesn't suffer? Blow me.<br /><br />Everybody needs to get a fucking grip. Using the WHO's own reported, confirmed statistics for Mexico and the USA, they're reporting 421 confirmed cases of this shit in Mexico with 16 deaths, and 161 confirmed cases in the US with one death. Even if you throw out the US statistics on the assumption that dirty-ass Mexico likely has an inferior health care system, that's a mortality rate of...<br /><br />3.8%<br /><br />Are you fucking kidding me? THIS is what is eating up my world news cycle? THIS is the fucking GLOBAL PANDEMIC? The goddamn FLU, that kills a whopping 4% of the people who catch it!?<br /><br />I can't help but be reminded of the South Park episode where the whole town gets SARS, and Stan's dad begs his son to find the cure, or else "...only 98% of us will live!" And at the end of the episode the "cure" for SARS turns out to be Campbell's chicken noodle soup, DayQuil, and Sprite. You know, that's probably the cure for swine flu too. If you don't want to die from swine flu, it's real simple: WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS. <br /><br />Global pandemic my ass. Something that only kills 3% of people in a developed nation isn't newsworthy. It's just natural selection. Seriously. We're just thinning the herd here people. When the monkeys at the San Diego Zoo all come down with ebola and start shitting blood and throwing it at the tourists...now THAT, my friends, will be news. http://az-icon.livejournal.com/33196.html public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/32986.html Wed, 22 Apr 2009 01:06:34 GMT http://az-icon.livejournal.com/32986.html <ul class="loudtwitter"><li><em>20:31</em> Fuck you Tony Almeida, you doublecrossing piece of shit! <a href="http://twitter.com/az_icon/statuses/1572021387">#</a></li> <li><em>15:43</em> I'm old, my hairline is receding, and nobody loves me. I'm going to die alone! <a href="http://twitter.com/az_icon/statuses/1579346437">#</a></li> <li><em>15:44</em> I think about this kind of stuff when I'm on the can making number two. <a href="http://twitter.com/az_icon/statuses/1579356753">#</a></li> <li><em>15:45</em> I really am overpaid. Also, I need to stop eating so much jalepenos. <a href="http://twitter.com/az_icon/statuses/1579368092">#</a></li></ul>Automatically shipped by <a href="http://www.loudtwitter.com">LoudTwitter</a> http://az-icon.livejournal.com/32986.html public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/32613.html Tue, 21 Apr 2009 01:03:25 GMT http://az-icon.livejournal.com/32613.html <ul class="loudtwitter"><br /> <li><em>10:59</em> Fun with suffixes: dildo, dildoed, dildee, dildoey, dildoable, dildoiferous, dildosis, dildoism. <a href="http://twitter.com/az_icon/statuses/1567433938">#</a></li><br /></ul>Automatically shipped by <a href="http://www.loudtwitter.com">LoudTwitter</a> http://az-icon.livejournal.com/32613.html public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/32317.html Sat, 18 Apr 2009 01:03:20 GMT http://az-icon.livejournal.com/32317.html <ul class="loudtwitter"><br /> <li><em>14:40</em> TWEET TWEET! I'm @ work, and I'm in the john sitting on the can. Twitter rules! <a href="http://twitter.com/az_icon/statuses/1545864616">#</a></li><br /></ul>Automatically shipped by <a href="http://www.loudtwitter.com">LoudTwitter</a> http://az-icon.livejournal.com/32317.html public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/32154.html Fri, 17 Apr 2009 01:05:03 GMT http://az-icon.livejournal.com/32154.html <ul class="loudtwitter"><li><em>16:14</em> John Madden retired today. I'm so fucking sad. <a href="http://twitter.com/az_icon/statuses/1537543855">#</a></li> <li><em>16:15</em> That means the last game he called was the Cardinals in the Super Bowl. <a href="http://twitter.com/az_icon/statuses/1537549521">#</a></li> <li><em>16:17</em> I'm such a nerd. I almost feel like crying. Sundays won't be the same. <a href="http://twitter.com/az_icon/statuses/1537563469">#</a></li></ul>Automatically shipped by <a href="http://www.loudtwitter.com">LoudTwitter</a> http://az-icon.livejournal.com/32154.html public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/31873.html Sat, 04 Apr 2009 01:02:48 GMT http://az-icon.livejournal.com/31873.html <ul class="loudtwitter"><li><em>05:02</em> Almost to KC. Still killing time in Cleveland. I'm tired as hell. Having a yo-yo in your pocket makes security checkpoints fun! <a href="http://twitter.com/az_icon/statuses/1444801200">#</a></li> <li><em>05:17</em> Man, there are some fugly people in Cleveland. I think I'm sitting next to Ma Fratelli's granddaughter. Yikes! It's an Addams Family reu ... <a href="http://twitter.com/az_icon/statuses/1444857252">#</a></li></ul>Automatically shipped by <a href="http://www.loudtwitter.com">LoudTwitter</a> http://az-icon.livejournal.com/31873.html public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/31551.html Fri, 03 Apr 2009 04:33:47 GMT http://az-icon.livejournal.com/31551.html Leaving for the airport in 30 minutes!!<br /><br />I'm so excited! http://az-icon.livejournal.com/31551.html public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/31281.html Sun, 18 Jan 2009 08:42:07 GMT Who's Buried In Grant's Tomb? http://az-icon.livejournal.com/31281.html I was supposed to go out tonight with my ex to the <a href="http://www.barrett-jackson.com/">Barrett-Jackson auction</a>. For those of you not familiar, it's like the biggest, fanciest car show in the country for people who somehow have managed to still have more money than they know what to do with in this economy. They hold it every year out here, and it's a pretty big deal. The lame thing about it is that there's only two kinds of people who go to this thing: car lovers, and douchebags. <br /><br />Actually, I'm pretty sure anyone who goes to the Barrett-Jackson and *isn't* ASE certified, is automatically a douchebag just for walking in the door. It's just like the Phoenix Open (or whatever the fuck they call it these days), where people from all over the Valley go to it and talk about it reverentially, even if they don't like golf, just so they can...I dunno...smugly tell people they were there. Here's an example of your typical exchange with one of these people:<br /><br />SuperChad: "I went to Barrett-Jackson last night, bro!"<br />Me: "You don't even like cars."<br />SuperChad: "It was hella sweet!"<br />Me: "You are a huge douchebag."<br /><br />I said I was *supposed* to go, because my ex bailed on me and screwed me over at the last second, so here I am all dressed up with nowhere to go. By "dressed up," I mean I bought a pair of faded jeans, because faded jeans are for <em>assholes</em>, and I wanted to fit in.<br /><br />Anyway, now I'm home wearing these d-bag jeans and getting buzzed by myself on a six-pack of Blue Moon - which is good because it's taking the edge of my being super pissed off about having my evening fucked over. I've been watching The History Channel all day, because it's interesting and it got me to looking up some stuff on Wikipedia about American history.<br /><br />So, I was reading up on Abraham and Robert Todd Lincoln. Apparently, on more than one occasion, someone tried to steal Lincoln's dead body with the plan to hold it for ransom. I find that interesting, mostly because I'd never heard that before. Anyway, reading about Lincoln's Tomb in turn leads me to look up "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grant%27s_tomb">Grant's Tomb</a>."<br /><br />Before I go any further, let me set this up. Grant's Tomb is, obviously, the tomb of Ulysses S. Grant, and is probably best known by people my age and older from Looney Tunes and other cartoons. Back in the day, <a href="http://www.triviatribute.com/images4/grouchomarx6.jpg">Groucho Marx</a> (kill yourself if you don't know who that is) used to ask people on his quiz show "Who's buried in Grant's Tomb?" Certainly I'm not old enough to have seen Groucho Marx on TV, but Bugs Bunny, <a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c4/BugsAsGroucho.jpg">when he was spoofing Groucho</a>, used to ask his various foils the same question. "Who's buried in Grant's Tomb?"<br /><br />"Who's buried in Grant's Tomb?"<br /><br />Now, I used the word "obviously" above because unless you're a retard, it would stand to reason that "Grant" would be buried in "Grant's Tomb." Having said that, let me admit to you now that until I typed "Grant's Tomb" into the Wiki search box and hit the "Enter" button on my keyboard, if you would have asked me "Who's buried in Grant's Tomb?" I would have immediately, without reservation nor hesitation, answered with complete, and utter confidence: "George Washington."<br /><br />In fact, the reason I was looking up "Grant's Tomb" was because I was curious as to why George Washington's final resting place was called "Grant's Tomb."<br /><br />I find it both hilarious AND ironic, that the very source of my confusion over who, exactly, is buried in Grant's Tomb, is given in the final paragraph of the Wikipedia entry for "Grant's Tomb." (Which tells me I must not be the only one!)<br /><br />From Wikipedia:<br /><em>"In the </em><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woody_Woodpecker" title="Woody Woodpecker"><em>Woody Woodpecker</em></a><em> cartoon "Ballyhooey" Woody was asked, while on a television quiz show, "Who is buried in Grant's Tomb?" Woody responded "Napoleon!" The MC of the show replied, "Wrong — it was George Washington!" As a consolation prize, Woody was given a trip to the South Pole."</em><br /><br />My entire life, I've thought George Washington was buried in Grant's Tomb because I saw that cartoon when I was like, five years old. http://az-icon.livejournal.com/31281.html amused public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/31048.html Sun, 28 Dec 2008 03:38:09 GMT omfg http://az-icon.livejournal.com/31048.html Seriously?<br /><br /><lj-embed id="33" /><br /><a href="http://vimeo.com/2625538">The Craft of War: BLIND</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user1052029">percula</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.<br /><br />This video is 200% win.<br /> http://az-icon.livejournal.com/31048.html public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/30867.html Sat, 01 Nov 2008 15:04:56 GMT Happy Birthday Mom! http://az-icon.livejournal.com/30867.html Halloween is my mom's birthday, so I'm heading to Cincinnati this weekend to see her!  I better not forget the card!<br /><br />See you all on Monday! http://az-icon.livejournal.com/30867.html public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/30386.html Mon, 06 Oct 2008 05:18:20 GMT EVE Online http://az-icon.livejournal.com/30386.html I downloaded the game and am playing on a free 14-day trial account.  It seems extremely micro-managey and overly complex.  I've wasted about an hour messing with it and doing the tutorial.  I was sad to learn that the space combat really isn't pewpew twitch-based.  I'm disappointed.  When is anybody ever going to make a persistent world MMO that requires actual reflexes and skill?  I vaguely remember the ship combat in SWG as being decent, albeit repetitive.<br /><br />Nonetheless, it's occupying me for the time being, which is always a good thing.<br /><br />After all these years, I still miss Planetside. :( http://az-icon.livejournal.com/30386.html public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/29757.html Sat, 04 Oct 2008 03:14:32 GMT http://az-icon.livejournal.com/29757.html <br /><lj-embed id="32" /> http://az-icon.livejournal.com/29757.html public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/29685.html Sat, 27 Sep 2008 11:21:12 GMT What the hell is a "Libertarian" anyway? http://az-icon.livejournal.com/29685.html <br /><table style="border: 1px solid black;"><tbody><tr><td align="center"><font size="3"> You are a </font><center> <font size="3"> <br /> <font size="4"><b>Social Moderate</b></font> <br /> <font size="3" shmolor="a8a8a8">(55% permissive)</font><br /> </font></center> <font size="3"> <br /> and an... </font><center><font size="3"><br /> <font size="4"><b>Economic Conservative</b></font> <br /> <font size="3" shmolor="#a8a8a8">(63% permissive)</font><br /> </font></center> <font size="3"> <br /> You are best described as a:<br /> <br /><font size="+2"><u><center><b>Centrist </b></center></u></font> </font><br /> <table height="375" width="375" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" border="0" background="http://cdn.okcimg.com/graphics/politics/chart_political.gif" name="thetable"> <tbody><tr height="119"> <td width="187"> </td> <td width="187"> </td> </tr> <tr height="255"> <td width="187"> </td> <td width="187" valign="top" align="left"><img border="0" alt="" src="http://cdn.okcimg.com/graphics/politics_you.gif" /></td> </tr> </tbody></table> <br /> <table height="375" width="375" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" border="0" background="http://cdn.okcimg.com/graphics/politics/chart_basic.jpg" name="thetable"> <tbody><tr height="119"> <td width="187"> </td> <td width="187"> </td> </tr> <tr height="255"> <td width="187"> </td> <td width="187" valign="top" align="left"><img border="0" alt="" src="http://cdn.okcimg.com/graphics/politics_you.gif" /></td> </tr> </tbody></table> <br /><br />Link: <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/politics"><b> The Politics Test </b></a> on <a href="http://www.okcupid.com"><b>Ok Cupid</b></a><br /> Also : <a href="http://www.okcupid.com/online.dating.persona.test"> The OkCupid Dating Persona Test </a></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /> http://az-icon.livejournal.com/29685.html public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/28999.html Wed, 17 Sep 2008 04:30:09 GMT Random musings from the slightly depressed... http://az-icon.livejournal.com/28999.html Just once in my life, I wish I could get all dressed up, and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GW_Kkq3l2lI">dance the waltz</a> with someone.<br /><br />If I ever find true love, I'm using <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Passionate_Shepherd_to_His_Love">THIS POEM</a> to propose.<br /><br /><a href="http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Arizona-Getaways-for-the-Incurably-Romantic/Pamela-Swartz/e/9780970919311">THIS BOOK</a> is on my bookshelf.  It has been read, but never put to use.<br /><br />Which reminds me...I bought something similar to <a href="http://www.target.com/Breakfast-Tray-with-Handle/dp/B000ST0SF0/ref=sc_ri_2/601-7999735-8190514">THIS</a> once figuring someday, I would serve someone breakfast in bed.  I still have it, though it also has never been used.  I bought it 10 years ago.<br /><br />I find it both depressing and somewhat embarrassing, that my bed totally slopes to one side.<br /><br />...<br /><br />I see a theme in these so-called random musings.  Not so random after all.  I will blame the fact that I am vaguely sick and feverish tonight.  I think I have the flu.<br /><br />Also, I will deny I ever said any of this stuff  TO YOUR FACES if you ever bring it up in the future.<br /> http://az-icon.livejournal.com/28999.html lonely public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/28740.html Wed, 03 Sep 2008 02:11:57 GMT I must admit, I already did it too... http://az-icon.livejournal.com/28740.html It seems I am not alone in my interest for John McCain's smokin' hot running mate. Not by a long shot.<br /><br />Check this article out courtesy of TIME magazine: <a href="http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1838041,00.html">Searching for Palin's 'Hot Photos'</a><br /><br />I found it incredibly funny.  Do you suppose maybe McCain *wasn't* after <em>women's</em> votes after all?  How crafty.  ;)<br /> http://az-icon.livejournal.com/28740.html amused public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/28634.html Tue, 02 Sep 2008 05:45:41 GMT Rockin' Out http://az-icon.livejournal.com/28634.html The first time few times I heard this song...<br /><br /><lj-embed id="30" /><br /><br />It reminded me a lot of *this* song.<br /><br /><lj-embed id="31" /><br /><br /><br /><br />Discuss.<br /><br /> http://az-icon.livejournal.com/28634.html public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/28213.html Mon, 01 Sep 2008 23:46:36 GMT I'm a pansy. http://az-icon.livejournal.com/28213.html I just had a rather embarrassing moment.<br /><br />So, I went to lay by the pool this afternoon to get some sun while I still can.  After about an hour spent reading my book, I decide to get up and go.  I bend over to grab my t-shirt, and I suddenly hear this LOUD BUZZING IN MY EARS.<br /><br />This is where I mention that I'm slightly phobic about bugs.  Especially the large, stinging wasp variety that can often be found loitering near pools in the summer.  >.><br /><br />So I reflexively bob and weave my head, and when the buzzing persists, I swat the air around me to no avail.  At this point, feeling particularly beset upon, I let out a decidedly unmanly shriek, attracting the attention of the other people in the pool area.<br /><br />Standing up, my assailant hovers into view.  I don't know what they're called, but we have these very large shiny green scaraby looking bugs that transplanted easter-coasters like to call "june bugs."  They're not actually june bugs, but they pretty much are the desert-dwelling equivalent, and they like to live in palm trees.  They're big, loud, and as un-aerodynamic as they look, and therefore unpredictable.  They fly about as well as Woodstock on "Peanuts."<br /><br />So there it is.  A huge-ass stupid june bug is buzzing erratically around my head.  Just because it's harmless doesn't mean I like the fucking thing, as they are rather huge and loud and menacing looking.  Forgetting that I'm in a public place, and feeling angry and ashamed at being made to squeal like pussy by this stupid bug, I proceed to take the Lord's name in vain and unleash a string of profanity at it that would make a sailor blush.<br /><br />JESUS CHRIST!  FUCK YOU!  GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY FACE YOU FUCKING BITCH!<br /><br />I wield my t-shirt like a mace and swing violently it, chasing it away.  Because you know, nothing says "tough guy" quite like vengefully attacking a harmless bug like a maniac.<br /><br />MOTHERFUCKER.<br /><br />At this point I realize that everybody at the pool is probably giggling at me behind my back, watching this guy scream like a bitch and and then utterly lose it over a stupid bug.  I know this because once the bug is gone, *I'm* finding it hard not to laugh.  So I don't dare turn around, because if I so much as see one person looking at me, I'm going to crack up laughing hysterically.  I put my shirt on and try hard to stifle the snickering, which only makes things worse.  The harder you try to hold back the giggles, the worse it gets.  Luckily I escaped the vicinity of the pool with what little tattered shreds of my dignity I could muster.<br /><br />You better not be laughing either!  It wasn't funny.  That was bullshit. http://az-icon.livejournal.com/28213.html public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/27947.html Mon, 01 Sep 2008 15:30:03 GMT VPILF http://az-icon.livejournal.com/27947.html I'm officially voting for John McCain and I so hope he wins.  That way I can spend the next four years fantasizing about having sex with the Vice President in the Oval Office.<br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v470/cannae/palin-5.jpg" alt="" /><br /><span style="font-size: xx-large;"><strong><br /></strong><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><strong>I'd hit it.</strong></span></span><br /><br /> http://az-icon.livejournal.com/27947.html public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/27660.html Sun, 10 Aug 2008 05:57:33 GMT BBQ http://az-icon.livejournal.com/27660.html There's this show on the Food Network called <a target="_self" href="http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/show_dv">"Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives"</a> which is really awesome. The guy goes around to all these little local, greasy-spoon, Mom and Pop type joints that have amazing food. <a target="_self" href="http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?ie=UTF8&hl=en&msa=0&msid=118225339712667687359.00044bf25db6bc80f2573&ll=39.937119,-74.958344&spn=58.904671,119.53125&z=3">Here's a Google Map of all the places that have been highlighted on the show.</a> If there's a place on the list near you, I highly recommend you check it out!<br /><br />Anyway, one of the more recent episodes featured a barbeque joint here in Phoenix. I love barbeque. I went on a trip to visit friends in Kansas City last year, and I could seriously move there just for the food. Yum! Well, supposedly this place serves up some real authentic-ass barbeque. Who would have thought I could find REAL barbeque in Arizona? Well, if it's on this show, it must be good.<br /><br />So my buddy and I went to <a target="_self" href="http://www.theepittsagain.com/">Thee Pitt's Again</a> in Glendale. The food was fucking awesome. If you like melt-in-your-mouth barbeque pork, sausage, and brisket, and you're ever in Phoenix, you have to give this place a try.<br /><br />For dessert - no joke - <a target="_self" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deep-fried_Twinkie">DEEP FRIED TWINKIE</a>. With ice cream.<br /><br />I shudder to think of how many calories I consumed today. http://az-icon.livejournal.com/27660.html full public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/27551.html Sat, 09 Aug 2008 16:38:28 GMT Bernie Mac http://az-icon.livejournal.com/27551.html *From the AP: <b>CHICAGO </b>- <i>Bernie Mac, the actor and comedian who teamed up in the casino heist caper "Ocean's Eleven" and gained a prestigious Peabody Award for his sitcom "The Bernie Mac Show," died Saturday at age 50.</i><br /><br />This makes me quite sad this morning. Bernie Mac was an hugely gifted comedian. He was one of the absolute funniest guys in entertainment. Every show he put on and every role he played was superb, and you always got the impression that the best part of his act was that he was simply being himself. http://az-icon.livejournal.com/27551.html public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/27066.html Mon, 04 Aug 2008 06:25:55 GMT LOCKDOWN! http://az-icon.livejournal.com/27066.html I'm sure nobody would have noticed, but in the interests of fairness thought I would mention that tonight I went back and locked most all of my recent posts, as well as cherry-picking quite a few old ones out as well.<br /><br />The reason for this is because I recently created a new MySpace page with the same name as this blog. Unlike my old, abandoned MySpace page, this one is meant to be public and searchable. People looking for me on MySpace will be able to find it.<br /><br />Unfortunately, when I re-used the az_icon name, that meant anyone could theoretically on a hunch try looking for az_icon here, and pull up THIS blog, which has long basked in the utter anonymity of being public in a extremely crowded public place, must like a needle in haystack. Since I've gone at length about some of my more problematic personal and work-related relationships here, I figured I would err on the side of caution and lock a bunch of pertinent posts and even a lot of not-so-pertinent ones.<br /><br />Most, if not all, future posts here will be "friends only." http://az-icon.livejournal.com/27066.html paranoid much? public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/17794.html Sun, 11 Nov 2007 18:00:27 GMT A Weekend With Two Dwarves And A Fury Warrior. (Part 4) http://az-icon.livejournal.com/17794.html So, what I forgot to mention in the last installment was that when I left Jen's house at  like whatever o'clock in the wee hours of the morning it was, the glorified box truck I rented got about ten feet down the block and game to grinding, screeching halt.  Why?  Oh!  I still have the parking break on.<br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a><div class="ljcut" text="Oh, the humanity!">Now, there's two kinds of drivers in the world.  People who call it an "e-brake," and people who call it a "parking brake."  Us parking break-types apply it EVERY SINGLE TIME WE PARK.  You e-break people think it's only for hills.  So I put the parking break on every time I park my car.  Just the way it is.<br /><br />On this Chrysler Pacifica thing, the parking break was a pedal down and to the left.  Easy as pie.  Stomp on the pedal.  "GGraaaarrrkkk!"  Parking brake is on.  Now, my dad has a Buick Regal.  Parking brake is in the same place.  Stomp on the pedal.  "Ggrraaaarrrkkk!"  Parking brake is on.  To take it off, you just stomp on it again.  "Ker-klack!"  It's released.  So I assume this one works the same way.  I stop on the pedal again.  The pedal just goes down further.  Maybe I have to put some oomph into it.  STOMP!  Gah!  All I'm doing is putting the brake on tighter.  WTF!!??<br /><br />Now I realize, I have no idea how to take the parking brake off.  I'm sure there's an obvious release somewhere, but I can't see it because it's like 3AM! The interior light in that car is worthless.  Damnit.  I start cussing again.  You'd never know I had such a good time on this trip from all the cussing I did on it.  I tap the brake a few more times just because I didn't know what else to, I look at the steering column and try to find some buttons on the dash.  Nothing.  The truck is like in front of Jen's neighbor's house, at an angle right in the MIDDLE of the street.  I open the door and climb out and actually KNEEL DOWN on the street next to my car to peer at the brake pedal.  I don't know what to do.  Out of sheer desperation, I actually grab the brake pedal with my hands and try to pull it up.  Yep.  I'm just that desperate.  This is when another car comes up behind me and then kinda swerves around me real slow.  I'm sure they were quite perplexed by the SUV parked all cockeyed in the middle of street with the driver all hunched over next to it with the door open.  They probably thought I was puking.  It *was* a Friday night after all.<br /><br />After what felt like an eternity of panic and struggling, my hand found a latch I assumed was for the back hatch and I yanked it just because it was there.  "Bang!"  It was the parking brake release!  Oh THANK FUCKING HEAVENS!  Thoroughly chagrined, I hop back in and drive back to my hotel.  At least now I know where it is.<br /><br />The next morning it's back at Jen's house to regroup for a tour of the local coffee roaster.  They seriously have no idea how lucky there are to live where there's a local roaster.  I think I'm going to buy some of their coffee for when my mom visits.  She's loves coffee just as much as I do, except she's a snob about it.  She'd die if she came over here tomorrow and saw that all I have to drink is Folger's.  Anyway, the tour was really cool.  I never even thought about what exactly went into making coffee into coffee.  I'm not sure what I thought the process was, but it wasn't what I learned it to be, and I really enjoyed it.<br /> <br /> The real story of the roaster tour was not the tour itself, however, but the drive getting there.  I didn't plug the GPS in because I assumed that since A) These people LIVE here, and B) They've apparently taken this tour before, then C) They know where we're going and how to get there.<br /> <br /> I was wrong.<br /> <br /> If Lewis and Clark had Jen (who fails at maps, by the way) and Luke (Mr. Jen) as their guides, Oregon would still be owned by France.  Of course it didn't help any that I was driving and not only was I having too much fun and being distracted, I was also a little nervous about driving around the unfamiliar and completely screwy freeway system, and paranoid about the fact that I seemed to always be the fastest vehicle on the road.  Phoenix has just two speeds:  "Go Speed racer!" or "Get the fuck out of the way!"  They have to put radar cameras on our local loop just to keep people from doing 100mph on it.  We ended up close to the place, and from there apparently we just started playing it by ear.<br /> <br /> Now comes the fun part.  We get off the freeway and reach a T intersection.  Luke arbitrarily (at least it seemed arbitrary) picks right and we go that way and start looking at the street numbers and realize we're going the wrong direction.  I'm not used to these little streets with no middle lane, so I'm hesitant to hold up traffic to make a left turn.  Well, we come up on the way back to the freeway, get back on, get back off and we're right back to the intersection again. <br /> <br /> So this time we go the right way (left), and look for the street to turn down.  I overshot the street it was on by one, so I just made my next right, and then another right to backtrack.  Then we turned LEFT to look for the roaster.  Only problem was, the place we were looking for was right on the first block, so little did we know that when I overshot it a block and then came back to it, we were already past it.  We turned left and missed it.  If we would have turned RIGHT instead, it would have been literally RIGHT THERE.  In fact, it was probably right there next to us at the intersection, but none of us saw it because we all assumed it would be to our left.<br /> <br /> We made our way down the street and came out the other side of the neighborhood with no sign of our destination, and we run into a bizarre double road type of configuration because it looks like maybe two different freeways dump off right here, so we pick our way across it and end up stuck backtracking.  No problem, we're early and we can just do the same thing we did last time which is head towards the freeway to make another circle.  Off to our right as we drive, we see a little lake.<br /> <br /><b> NUMBER OF TIMES PASSING THE LAKE: 1</b><br /> <br /> Now, for those of you scoring at home, keep track of this.  The road takes us way out to Nowheresville. In the meantime, David (Elrin) and Luke have been playing with the sattelite radio the whole time.  First David goes and flips through all the channels looking for RAAWR METAL! and finds some noise to listen to, but like any  true male, can't settle on any one station.  This song sucks and that song sucks and he keeps flipping until he finds one.<br /> <br /> "Hey this is a good song!"  <br /> <br /> It's <i>Fleetwood Mac</i>!  <br /> <br /> I said, "Is that sarcasm?"  David proceeds to tell me that Fleetwood Mac has some awesome guitar player or something.  I was like "Are you fucking kidding me!?"  The metalhead flips through 200 channels and settles on Fleetwood Mac?  My head exploded.<br /> <br /> Then it was Luke's turn to fiddle with it.  Luckily, he only wanted to listen to one channel - the techno channel.  So, keep in mind, not only are we kind of lost, but at the same time we're having our auditory senses assaulted by <a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v470/cannae/bm3.jpg">teenagers from Finland</a>, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GN2kpBoFs4">Fleetwood Mac</a>, and then...<a href="http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail45.html">this</a>.<br /> <br /> So we end up having to turn around in some random parking we lot we found and go back the way we came.  We pass the lake again.<br /> <br /><b> NUMBER OF TIMES PASSING THE LAKE: 2</b><br /> <br /> Eventually, I make a turn I shouldn't have, or I didn't merge or something and end up having to pull a U-turn.  I've never been in a city where roads and highways just routinely branch off, merge into each other, and just plain disappear into thin air.  Either way, this leads us past the lake yet again.<br /> <br /><b> NUMBER OF TIMES PASSING THE LAKE: 3</b><br /> <br /> So eventually we find the roaster and take the tour.  When we leave, we decide to head downtown for lunch.  As we head for the access road that takes us in the right direction back to the freeway yet again, we pass the lake one more time.<br /> <br /><b> NUMBER OF TIMES PASSING THE LAKE: 4<br /></b> <br /> At this point, Jen and Di just lose it in the backseat and Di almost pees her pants laughing.  They just can't handle the fact that we made like five laps around a three square-block radius of Kansas City in about fifteen minutes.  The damn ass GPS, which I plugged in when we stopped in the parking lot, was telling me where to go, and I swear that uppity posh voice was throwing some sarcasm in there.  I'm surprised it didn't pitch in its own two cents on the whole situation.<br /> <br /> "<i>BING BONG! This is the <b>fourth </b>time you've passed this lake.  You are a complete tool</i>."<br /> <br /> So I have Di and Jen laughing their asses off in the back, the GPS talking shit, and now David was going at the radio again.  The fourth time past that lake was almost the last one for everybody.  I swear, I was <i>thisclose </i>to just driving us all right off the overpass and into it.<br /> <br /> (...to be continued)<br /> </div> http://az-icon.livejournal.com/17794.html public

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http://az-icon.livejournal.com/17409.html Tue, 06 Nov 2007 02:58:41 GMT A Weekend With Two Dwarves And A Fury Warrior. (Part 3) http://az-icon.livejournal.com/17409.html I walked into the lobby of the AmeriSuites in Overland Park with my hands in my pockets and taking the Lord's name in vain. The woman behind the counter took one look at me in my shorts and t-shirt and chuckled and said...<br /><br />"You ain't from around here, huh?"<br /><br />So it's late as hell when I get to my hotel. It's actually after midnight. Since I'd paid for a Friday through Tuesday stay, and technically it was now Saturday, I asked the gal behind the counter if that meant I could have a day back. Of course, I knew what the answer was.<br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a><div class="ljcut" text="What happens next!?"><a href="http://jeni-chan.livejournal.com/profile"><img width="17" height="17" src="http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif" alt="[info]" style="border: 0pt none ; vertical-align: bottom; padding-right: 1px;" /></a><a href="http://jeni-chan.livejournal.com/"><b>jeni_chan</b></a> had called me on my cell phone to let me know that even though it was late, everyone was up playing card games and that I should still come over. So I stopped up in my room long enough to put on some jeans and a long sleeved shirt and went to meet everyone. I did an awesome job picking my hotel because it was literally five minutes down the street. However, I didn't know *exactly* which house it was. I did have my awesome GPS unit, which was much more functional once I figured out how to get it to stop using the metric system. I plugged Jen's address in and..well...it got me to the right street at least.<br /><br />The GPS goes "DING DONG! You've arrived at your destination." So I park the truck on the curb and cautiously venture out into the night. I just know I'm in front of the wrong house, and I'm looking all over for the number. There's no lights on. In fact, there's no lights on anywhere. Being confused and lost can also look a lot like you're up to no good at first glance. Every block has that one busy-body douchebag who's always looking out their window to see what their neighbors are up to, and one glance is probably all that person needs to call the cops on the suspicious looking guy lurking in the dark and sneaking up to everyone's front door.<br /><br />So I get back in the truck and swear some more. I cuss. A lot. What a shock, I know. So I drive around the block again and I check the street number to make sure I'm in the right spot. I circle back and look for a house with lights on, and I see one. so I pull over again and, feeling only slightly more confident, walk up the driveway past this hideous purple car and look at the number on the front of the house.<br /><br />THIS IS IT!<br /><br />I ring the doorbell and Jen answers the door and greets me with a hug. I'm told that, because of the last entry I wrote here before I left, there was much speculation on whether or not I had shaved, and I was informed that <span class='ljuser ljuser-name_banjo_di' lj:user='banjo_di' style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='http://banjo-di.livejournal.com/profile'><img src='http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='http://banjo-di.livejournal.com/'><b>banjo_di</b></a></span>  would not hug me unless I had. Well, I did. Sort of. I had a pretty decent five o'clock (well, by now it was 1AM) shadow going on. But nobody could complain because Elrin's hairy enough to need a permit to keep indoors, and I'm going to assume he got a hug anyway.<br /><br />So despite my unkempt appearance, Di jumped up and gave me a hug. A hug worthy of a dwarf. I will admit now, and I don't know if the expression on my face gave it away (it usually does), but I was quite surprised by the ferocity of the hug I was on the receiving end of. It was a full on bear hug. I think Di almost trampled the dog in the process. Or maybe it was Elrin. Hard to tell them apart with all the fur.<br /><br />Oh, right. The dog's the one with shorter hair.<br /><br />Either way, it was quite a warm welcome. I now know how Hulk Hogan felt when he almost tapped out to Andre the Giant at Wrestlemania 3. But don't let my flippant attitude fool you. It was one of the bestest hugs ever. :)<br /><br />I plop down on the couch next to Jen's dog George and proceed to watch them play a card game called <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munchkin_(card_game)">Munchkin</a>. I'm not a table top gamer at all, nor have I ever been into card games that didn't involve deuces wild and stripping. That being said, as near as I could tell, the game of Munchkin is a complete and utter clusterfuck, and you make the rules up as you go along. It is kind of amusing though because kneepads and restraining orders are involved.<br /><br />Come to think of it, that sounds exactly like how most of my relationships start, and ultimately end.<br /><br />It was good to finally be in the same room with real live people that I've counted among my best friends in life, though I've only known them through text on a screen, whether it be in WoW or the chatbox or here in LJ. It was really nice to get real live hugs instead of emote hugs. And it was all a little surreal too. I went back to my hotel room that night, not very tired (thank you three hour time difference!), and more than a little in awe of it all.<br /><br />(...to be continued.)</div> http://az-icon.livejournal.com/17409.html public

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